So once again get her and the 'Caddy' into the Cruiser and head downtown to the accountant. Tax paperwork is retrieved without incident. Time for lunch. Being Friday, Wisconsin and my mother a good Norwegian Lutheran, and its Lent- she says she has a hankering for fish. Up here when you say you want to go out for fish- we are talking beer battered deep fried cod. Ok- no problem- I suggest a place we hadn't been to in a while and the Cruiser with me at the helm begins to make its way to the place. Its 12;30 and its busy, but we get seated at a table where smoking is still allowed-(more on Wisconsin's insane anti-smoking crusade in another post). Mom orders her fish- and I decide since I need to watch my weight will just do the soup and salad bar. This place has chicken dumpling soup to DIE for. Lunch is served, and consumed without incident. Check is paid- thanks Mom- and we depart for the grocery.
It was actually a nice day for March in Wisconsin. The sun was shining, and it was above 40!!!!
I was thinking- hey- lets snag ourselves the 20min combat power snooze while Mom gets her stuff- (chocolate ice cream, bread, milk, blueberry muffins, strawberries and 3 12pks of Diet Rite) and then we will be ready for the next adventure- Shopko.
I get Mom's Caddy out of the back of the Cruiser and bring it around to her. As she gets out of the car- she begins to rummage through her purse for the essentials. Check book, list and of course the coupons. She stops all of this and looks up at me with all the innocence a 79 year old woman can muster and says,
"I left my teeth at the restaurant."
My anticipation of some shut eye was now flying away with the speed of a C5 Galaxy with JTO assistance. A vision of some acne ravaged, over-eager 16 year old busboy clearing the table and depositing the detritus into the garbage now filled my head. Point her and the Caddy in the direction of the doors to the grocery and I jump back into the Cruiser and head for the restaurant. And no, I didn't violate numerous traffic laws while on my rescue mission.
I arrive, and find the place devoid of the crowd that had been in attendence earlier save for two gentlemen sitting at the bar. After what seemed an eternity- the barmaid comes into view and ever so happily asks,
"And what can I get for you?" She's beaming with happiness and joy at me.
"Mom's teeth." I deadpan back.
Her face falls, and the two gentlemen at the bar somehow manage to refrain from, a) spitting their drinks out and, b) choking. They do however, turn to look hard at me to see if this is a joke.
She immediately goes to the register and retrieves a small to-go box from the counter. Written in ball point pen ink all over it- DO NOT THROW- CUSTOMERS DENTURES-DO NOT THROW!
I open the box and ascertain that the teeth are indeed accounted for- which causes the two guys at the bar to quickly look away from me. (I work in the medical industry- gore and such are a normal part of my day- I have a strong stomach- guess those guys didn't.)
"Glad we found them-thats a lot of money to end up in the dumpster." She says to me apologetically.
"Thanks- you got that right. When I get these back to Mom I think the next order of business is to begin drinking heavily." I smile back at her.
"We'll be here." she beams back at me, all smiles once again.
I return to retrieve Mom, hand her the box. She removes said dental appliances and places them in her purse.
"Here, you can throw this away when you get home." She hands me the box.
I pull out of the parking lot and tell her that I need a drink- my day is shot.
She giggles and says, "I just knew I was gonna forget them you know."
We head to the bar and she buys me a beer. Thanks Mom. I love you. :)
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